Jack's Epiphany
by manga-otaku-94
Summary: As Jack sits on the ship bringing him back home, he contemplates. What had they done...What had HE done?


A/N: Hey Reader's, it's me, manga-otaku-94. For those of you who are following my other story, Code Geass: Steps Untaken, I sincerely apologize for the extreme delay in updates. To be honest, I've been buried in homework right now and even this is a project assignemnt that I decided to post for feedback. To any other readers, I hope you'll give my little oneshot a chance, and hopefully comment and review, cause I really want to write a good story for English class.

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><p>Sitting in his seat on the marine battleship, Jack fidgeted, his fingers rubbing against the new clothing they had been given. The softness was strange, unnatural even, after the days on the island and Jack wasn't sure what to think of it. Looking up, he watched as his hunters, no, his choir chatted together, the events before the rescue temporarily wiped from their thoughts in the excitement of finally being able to go home. Observing their interactions, Jack could only wonder at how different they looked with new clothes, clean faces, and happy expressions. Were they really his tribe? His followers? As the mental images flashed in his brain, Jack shuddered. What had they become? What had <strong>he<strong> become?

Looking out the window, he saw the island slowly morph into a tiny green speck in the distance and he could only feel a twinge of sadness in leaving the only place where he felt in control. Of course, this feeling was hugely overshadowed by the relief he felt for becoming civilized, becoming human again, but it was nonetheless there. Tearing his gaze from the window, he looked back into the narrow corridors, stark and bleak, and his gaze landed on Ralph, who sat by himself, unable to join in the joyful celebrations of the others.

Looking at the boy he saw not the boy he envied, nor the one he despised, but a twelve-year-old boy who now looked fragile and weak compared to his presence only hours earlier when the marines had stormed the beach. Jack didn't know what to think of that, especially after Ralph's breakdown. One side of his sneered the such behaviour, calling it weak, but Jack couldn't help but think that Ralph wasn't only crying out of the joy of being rescued. Looking at the boy now, it was clear that whatever Ralph had discovered, it had changed him, and seeing what it had done, he was almost too afraid to ask.

As Ralph slowly lifted his head, sensing a stare, Jack quickly looked down again, seeing his tanned and calloused hands. These calluses weren't caused by the bars he would play on during his summer holidays, but the repeated usage of wooden spears. Wooden spears with sharp points: to protect, to fight, to hunt, and finally to kill. Thinking back, Jack wondered how much blood has covered his tanned hands. The multiple pigs', Simon's, Piggy's, and if the marines hadn't shown up when they did, Ralph's. Staring at his hands, Jack felt for the first time since landing on the island, unclean. Oh God, what had they done? What had **he** done?

Quivering, memories of everything he did, everything he felt and every single thought he had started to come back and Jack gasped silently. For such silly things as being in charge of a few children, for a brief period of time, he had killed. He had **kille**d! Gritting his teeth, he recalled how angry he felt when the others picked Ralph as leader over him, the hatred as he was unable to kill a single pig for the group, the shame in letting the fire go out. He thought back to the power rush over making his own tribe, the frenzied attack on poor terrified Simon during the bonfire, and gruesome death of Piggy. Last but not least, he recalled how he had ordered his men, no, boys, to kill Ralph as well. He closed his eyes as the memories came and now, no longer being blinded by his emotions, he cringed.

Standing up on slightly unsteady feet, Jack unknowingly caught the attention of his choir. Ignoring the curious question's of what he was doing, he left the corridor in search of a quieter place where he could think about all of this in peace. As he walked by Ralph, their eyes connected for the first time since they were rescued and Jack recognized the same realization he had just found. Without saying a word, he broke the contact and walked off, his mind connecting the dots between Ralph's behaviour on the ship and his breakdown on the beach. He now knew what Ralph was thinking about and as suspected, he didn't want to know.

Going back to the cabin he had been assigned he looked around at the serious, gloomy room and felt strangely at home. The room had been designed for adults, not kids, and yet Jack felt more comfortable here than in the presence of his choir, who don't even seem to have a clue what they had done. Sighing, Jack couldn't help but be slightly irritated, but mostly jealous of the naivety he had now lost. Kids might have landed on that island, but two adults came off of it.

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><p>~~~~~~AUTHOR'S NOTE, PLEASE READ!~~~~~~<p>

First of all, thank you for reading my fanfic. If any of you read my beginning A/N, you would know that this was a project I am about to use for my English Honours class. Now, I'm pretty sure most of you, if not all, have suffered through stressful courses, and I was hoping for you guys to help a poor soul, review, and give me some advice on how to improve this stroy, since it will be for marks. If any of you would do that, I'd be extremely grateful!

~~~~~~END OF AUTHOR'S NOTE~~~~~


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